fabricated on paper

a place for thoughts

More than me, myself and I

I am an introvert, a pure breed I believe. If I have the power to make people leave me alone for the rest of my life I might do that. But I can’t be an island, so I tolerate, I make do. I deal with people and show up at functions only when I necessary need to. But I had a light bulb moment that I cannot ignore. And this sparked something in me, initially I was terrified because this thought will force me to move out of my cocoon and venture into uncharted waters.

Now,  an average life expectancy is about 70 now. I am 28 this year and inching towards 30 as I type. If I live to 70, I have only 40 more years here on earth. That is I pull through without any unforeseen circumstances. 40 years is not short neither is it a breeze. I realized there is more than just me and my cocoon. I don’t want to just drift through life. I want something so much more than the humdrum. So, I asked myself this: what have I done in my life?

To begin with, my grades were not excellent in school. I barely pass all my major exams. Compared to my peers, I have not achieved much really. I am not married and I am still single (Most of my friends are either going to get hitched or welcoming their first baby). I do not have a career to boast about. My longest employment - two years in a multinational company and I am not type that will survive the 9 to 5 pattern. My talents, you ask? I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I don’t play any music instruments. I can’t give speeches because of my fear of public speaking. Numbers are my worst nemesis. And the list goes on and on. 

But I choose to look beyond the lacks in me and ask myself again, what can I do? I know I can write – not award winning works but you are reading this, aren’t you? I know I am good with crafts and I am addicted to crafting. I don’t like to be in parties and gatherings but I love exchanging stories and discuss things that matter to one person at a time over a cup of coffee or a meal. I know I can cook a decent meal. I know I am a good listener. My love for words is growing as I mature.

Pin pointing what I can do took some time. The moment I was clear what I can do, I told my best friend: this is going to be a year of good changes(although is already closer to the end of the year). I am going to use what I know and what I am good at to better my life and then influence the life of people around me.

The idea sounds brave for an introvert, no? But I don’t have the slightest clue what to do next. No solid plan. But writing this piece is just the very first baby step. I used to be so afraid to write down what goes on in my head. Afraid that people will discover what I think. Writing a piece like this never cross my mind few years back because it feels like I am standing naked in a party full of well-dressed people. 

What I will consciously choose to do differently this year:

- I make sure to make time for friends and family members I have neglected when I was hiding in my cocoon.
- Spend more quality time with my parents.
- I will write down ideas that crosses my mind throughout the day, so that I can turn them into stories in due time. (hopefully)
- I will push myself to better my crafting skills every time I craft.

I do not guarantee results or good reports for now, but I know the very least I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone for now.

Never too late to change. 

We’ve created a culture that fetishizes the new(s), and we forget the wealth of human knowledge, wisdom, and transcendence that lives in the annals of what we call “history” – art, literature, philosophy, and so many things that are both timeless and incredibly timely. Our presentism bias – anchored in the belief that if it isn’t at the top of Google, it doesn’t matter, and if it isn’t Googleable at all, it doesn’t exist – perpetuates our arrogance that no one has ever grappled with the issues we’re grappling with. Which of course is tragically untrue.

The art and craft of telling stories on paper.

The art and craft of telling stories on paper.

Never too late to start. #gameofthrones

Never too late to start. #gameofthrones

endure, hang in there… it’s always darkest before the dawn breaks. 

endure, hang in there… it’s always darkest before the dawn breaks. 

(via kushandwizdom)